[trx_title type=”1″ color=”#000000″]The Spiritual Boyfriend[/trx_title]
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Hey! Nice to see you again. So in this post I’d like to cover the first bullet point that was shared in my first article which was
[trx_quote style=”1″]“Tantra is just as SPIRITUAL as it is SEXUAL”[/trx_quote]
Especially in this case when spirit had an influence on me sexually. I won’t get into the generational trauma, that’s for another post but I’d like to share the story about this “spiritual boyfriend” that I was recently freed from.
Before my walk as a “reader” I would get readings from priests. Two of them were Ifa priests and another was a Dogon Priest (at least he claimed to be).There were quite a few things consistent in these readings like being a high priestess, being a daughter of Oya, my ancestors protecting me, and the most important in regards to this post…is the presence of a spiritual boyfriend. I was excited because I thought he was protecting me…smh…man I had that all f*cked up.
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Let me tell you this so you can feel me a little more…Over the last two years I’ve had the experiences of FEELING spirit. This wasn’t so much the same as what I’ve experienced as a child…it’s something different. It’s hard to describe that feeling, but it’s like a ‘knowing’ of a presence you can’t physically see but your other senses pick up on it. I’ve awaken to dressers being flipped over and a deck of cards flying off the tv. So when this spiritual boyfriend kept popping up in these readings it made me wonder why he was around and why he stayed in my life. Was it him that I would feel when I was alone? What was the connection? Have we dated in this life and he died and I just didn’t know? Or was it from another lifetime? Here’s where ish gets deep because this experience confirmed why energy work is important. Keep in mind that I read Star Charts and my goal is to align the cosmic/energy body to the physical body. It’s challenging to do that when your energy body is still suffering from trauma that your physical body may not be fully aware of due to your level of consciousness. There’s no point in becoming a reader, if I’m not able to offer remedy. ESPECIALLY if the blockage or ailment you are experiencing is a spiritual/energetic blockage. After all, everything is energy.
So here I am as a certified Reiki Practitioner (really I”m a certified Master but I feel that kind of title needs a little more time to be earned) and also a Kundalini energy healer. In my journey of completing level 3 I attended a Tantric Retreat. One of the many activities we do is what we call “rotations.” This is when men and women take turns working on each other and at times the Tantrics will rotate tables…as in after a certain time we’ll switch from one table to the next working on different people. On this day, the men were to work on the women. Now see, the way my table sessions are set up, I almost always end up crying due to lots of emotions and experiences I never really got a chance to work through. Through tantra I’ve been able to improve how I handle situations, but not this time, nah, this was intense.
While receiving the work at the time I wasn’t sure where my healer had his hands or was projecting too but I had a vision of a piece of paper. On that paper, was what looked like a periodic table at the top and on the bottom of that piece of paper were symbols. There’s a reason why I will not show you these symbols and you’ll find out very shortly.
After this piece of paper vanished from this vision I started to hear screaming…it was muffled but it was a woman. I mean she was screaming like she was being tortured or something and then the screams turned into sobs…I started crying…I mean really crying because she needed help…I could feel she was desperately trying to get away..and I remember saying that on the table…”she needs help”. I got up immediately because I could not finish the session. I was crying too hard and it was challenging to try and collect myself. I asked the brother who was working on me “Who was that screaming? You didn’t hear screaming?” He just simply said “No”.
I was so distraught about the screams and sobs I went outside and ended up smoking a cigarette….AND I DON’T EVEN SMOKE CIGARETTES….SMH…. I felt like I was going crazy. The brother who worked on me came outside to console me and I just had to ask again….“So you didn’t hear any screaming?” he just simply shook his head again and said “No.” I went back inside to go to the basement and listen closely to see if I could hear anyone downstairs…I heard nothing. I waited for those who were downstairs in the basement to come upstairs and asked them if anyone was down there was screaming, the answer was still “no.” Honey, I walked around the whole damn house asking people if they heard screaming….they all said “No”. NO ONE HEARD SCREAMING…ONLY ME.
As you could imagine, I just couldn’t let this go, I had to find out where those screams came from. So I went upstairs to the room I was staying in to write down what I experienced. It’s good to keep a journal of these things so that you can reflect on it later to see growth and gain a new perspective. I even drew the symbols I saw in my vision on that piece of paper. I figured I could ask some of the brothers and sisters about the symbol that I saw, after all there are some really special and gifted people in this walk. Let me tell you about a few of them right quick.
When I talk about ‘gifts’ I”m talking about the kind of gifts that people were burned and hanged for back in the day, the kind of gifts that church people will shun away because they feel it’s not “of God.” The first brother I asked, who practices Ifa said they looked like Opeles as did the second brother who is a High Priest is Mama Wata. To this day he still suggests I get another reading from an Ifa priest, and I will, when I can. I then asked a sister who is an Akan Priestess and she said it looked similar to an oracle symbol that was used by the people in Guinea. All of those answer were valid buuuuuut it still didn’t satisfy my curiosity. The last person I asked was Mama….Let me tell you about MAMA real quick. I love everything about her, she is the eldest in our group, very open minded and she too has an amazing gift that we know as “channeling”. She also birthed two daughters who ‘channel’ as well. One of the daughters was at the retreat with us and the other wasn’t (we’ll call her Havanna). Mama also has a particular spirit guide she works with, let’s call him Larry. She’s tried to channel Larry for me to give me a reading, but for some reason he tells her not too. Larry does come to Mama quite often though, and you can always tell when Larry comes because she starts to shake in a way that is very noticeable. Another thing about MAMA is that whenever we’re in the same area getting table work and I start to cry, my ancestors come to her. She always asks me if I’m ok after a session because for some reason instead of my ancestors coming to me…THEY GO TO HER. When I get off the table, she’ll give me this long stare and will just say “It’s gonna be alright, they said you’ll be fine.” She says when my ancestors come to her, it’s a group of women who are really sad. So because of this connection I always get her insight in certain experiences that I have.
I told MAMA about the screams and showed her the symbol I saw. Of course, Larry wouldn’t allow her to interpret this experience either so she told me to talk to her daughter Havanna about this vision and screams. She at first wanted to send a picture of the symbol to Havanna in hopes that she would respond. While doing so, I also heard Mama say the word “witch” and when I asked her to clarify, she brushed it off and just told me to wait on Havanna.
Moments later Mama comes from around the corner with her phone in her hand telling me its’ Havanna on the phone saying she needed to speak to me. Here’s a quick synopsis of what she said…mind you..she knows nothing about my previous readings nor did she know about any of my ancestral trauma nor was she aware of any sexual abuse I have experienced. In a nutshell she says:
“This symbol is demonic and you need to burn it. In your last life you were a witch and apart of a coven. There was a man that you met and although everyone in your coven told you to stay away from him, you didn’t listen, so they kicked you out. You fell for this man not knowing his intent. This man stole your womb and he has stolen the wombs of many other women. He used you for all of his sexual perversions and you were a prostitute. You need to burn that symbol now.”
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After I got off the phone with her I went back to mama to tell her. Mama then asked if I asked Havanna about the screaming, (smh) I totally forgot to tell her about the screams. All of a sudden, MAMA STARTED SHAKING…again..when she shakes I know what that means…she said in a voice deeper than what’s usual “It was you…Larry said it was you that was screaming.” In my mind I’m like “Really Larry, you couldn’t just tell me this before” but out loud I just said “wow.” That’s when she asked me if I’ve ever been raped and I told her “yes.” Mama knew about my ancestral trauma, but not the trauma in this life. One thing about spirit guides is that they really have no concept of time…so I’m not sure if that scream was from this life or the last, but it was mine. It wasn’t until I told my MAN that I was reminded that this guy from my past life could most likely be that spiritual boyfriend that these other priests have seen. The same guy who may have been responsible for the white stuff that used to be in my panties when waking up that the priest asked me about. I don’t believe in coincidence at all.
Later that evening I went outside and burned that symbol like it was a member of the Ku Klux Klan. After I burned it I also buried the ashes, I had to make sure I gave this thing all the way back to the earth. The next day I received more table work and my duty was to make sure I was freed from this guy. I’d have to tell you all this story another time. Just know that during this session I affirmed that I had my womb back and it was no longer his. I then felt an energy trying to go to other women and I remember shaking and screaming loudly “GET THE FUCK AWAY”….I could go on and on but I know this experience seems a little bit ‘out there’ already, but it’s not. It’s my truth that I’ve experienced and others have witnessed. Many of us are walking around here not knowing that some of the things that go on is spiritual blockage and karmic debts. Knowing that in my past life I was a scorpio rising it all just clicked. As Scorpio is the natural 8th house of the zodiac and this house deals with spirits, sex, occult knowledge, mysticism, secrets, tantra etc. It also is no coincidence that the ruling planets of my first house of self, 2nd house of income, 9th house of higher knowledge and 10th of career and works ARE CONNECTED WITH THE 8TH HOUSE IN THIS LIFETIME. Again, sometimes past life energy is carried into this life so this experience has helped me put into perspective how to heal my karma and fulfill my dharma even more.
In this walk, you will find that you have many gifts. You have the ability to tap into a part of you that you probably didn’t know existed. A part of you that has been laying dormant for so long. You probably also have a gift of sight, feeling, or healing, that you were cut off from due to the environment you live in, the crap that you were taught in school, and the religion that was forced on your ancestors that you too have been raised in. In order tap into these gifts, works that contribute to the strength of your spirit/energy/chi is very important. For example, getting energy sessions, Qi Gong, meditation, sounds of power etc.
We have to know that it’s ok to tap into things that were taken away from you. You have to realize why theses teachings were taken away by people who sought to oppress you. It was taken away because it gave you power and confirmed who you really are. We have to stop being ok with being miseducated and being narrow minded. For instance the Qi Gong class I just got out of today, when we say we practice tantra the first thing that comes to mind is SEX. Smh, reaching orgasms and having sex is not the ONLY aspect of tantra, that shit is TOO EASY. It’s so much more, it’s learning how to breathe, healing, knowing that the power to heal is through intent and directing energy where it needs to go, realizing your weaknesses, loving those who are in so much pain they don’t realize how much love they need, and last but certainly not least AWAKENING THE DIVINITY IN YOU ON ALL LEVELS. This actually leads to my next post. The fact that we are not reaching this divinity is part of the reason why sustaining relationships in our generation sucks… and yes sex will be discussed in this article…as a matter of fact I may have to make a mini mini series about this subject. We’ll see….
Stay Tuned….Peace and Love
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