Hey Boos!!! Glad to see you all back this week for another episode. This is a second piece related to our challenges of sustaining our relationships. This one will be pretty interesting so please, grab your tea, smoothie, or red kool aid and be sure to also take notes. I have to share how using the science of compatibility has helped me improve and provide clarity in relationships.
I have two case studies for use and as always, I will keep their identities private. I’d like to take you on an exploration of the 3 kinds of relationships that exist in this world. Yes there are many variations but trust it will be under these main umbrellas.
1. The ‘LOVE’ relationship: Many of us have had this or what has felt like it. As a matter of fact many of us have been so deep into this kind of relationship we overlooked the red flags and accepted the shit that we weren’t supposed to because we felt we LOOOOOOVED this person or we actually did love this person to a ‘fault.’ Instead of looking at the truth of the matter you depended on POTENTIAL and FEELINGS only….well my friend potential does not equal performance, it just doesn’t, and in the name of love we have lost, cried, sacrificed and almost went CRAZY for the sake of love even when it wasn’t healthy. Love, well healthy love, shouldn’t make you do that. Yes many things are not always perfect but if ‘love’ is making you lose more than gain can we really call that love? Well at least not one that is healthy.
Long ago I learned the wonderful world of etymology, which is the study of language and it’s origin. Now being that many of us were deprived of our mother tongue let’s look at the words ‘love’ ‘karma’ and ‘arranged’ and it’s original meaning in English since this is what we use today:
love (v.) Old English lufian “to feel love for, cherish, show love to; delight in, approve,” from Proto-Germanic *lubojan (source also of Old High German lubon, German lieben), a verb from the root of love (n.). Weakened sense of “like” attested by c. 1200. Intransitive sense “be in love, have a passionate attachment” is from mid-13c. Tolove (someone) up “make out with” is from 1921. To love and leave is from 1885.love (n.) Old English lufu “feeling of love; romantic sexual attraction; affection; friendliness; the love of God; Love as an abstraction or personification,” from Proto-Germanic*lubo (source also of Old High German liubi “joy,” German Liebe “love;” Old Norse, Old Frisian, Dutch lof; German Lob “praise;” Old Saxon liof, Old Frisian liaf, Dutchlief, Old High German liob, German lieb, Gothic liufs “dear, beloved”).
Now I don’t know about you, but there are many people who can have us FEELING these types of things described above buuuuuut it doesn’t mean they are the right one to commit to in a relationship. According to the definition above LOVE, for me, isn’t enough. Yes we have our own definitions of love but for me, English is such a watered down language I truly like to know the origin of vibration when I speak certain words. Ok moving on…..
2. The KARMIC relationship: Now here’s where many of us fall into this idea of the “TWIN FLAME”. You get along great in everything, you two are very much alike, and the attraction is off the chain. I mean every chance you get you’re getting it in like rabbits. You feel like you’ve met in another lifetime before and just can’t figure out where the attraction comes from. Unfortunately, these types of relationships aren’t always meant to last, they can, but it’s not always meant. The purpose of this kind of relationship is for YOU to learn about YOU and the necessary lessons that you need to apply to life and love overall. These kinds of relationships can have the sweetest beginnings and the most chaotic journey that comes to an end.
karma (n.) 1827, in Buddhism, the sum of a person’s actions in one life, which determines his form in the next; from Sanskrit karma “action, work, deed; fate,”
Just like your works and deeds can reap rewards or consequences the same rules apply here. You met this person as a reward or consequence…but ‘consequence’ is a strong word so lets use ‘lesson’. You either got this good person based on your actions or you got this person because of your actions and lessons you needed to learn.
3. The ARRANGED relationship: Many of us are aware of this right? This is where our families would come together and collectively decide if the union you were about to get into was a good one. It wasn’t just based on how well you loved each other, because again, its easier to invoke feelings of love vs show actions of “I’m in this for the long haul.” It also included how well you two could produce together. For example, there are many couples who may love and get along but can’t produce a damn thing. You can’t produce children, a home, financial security, etc. The arranged relationships is based mainly on the premise that “Family is Business” and in order for a partnership to work there has to be order, clarity, synergy, and PRODUCTION….just like you were running a business.
arrange (v.) late 14c., “draw up a line of battle,” from Old French arengier (12c.), from a- “to” (see ad-) +rangier “set in a row” (Modern French ranger), from rang “rank,” from Frankish *hring (seerank (n.)).
A rare word until the meaning generalized to “to place things in order” c. 1780-1800. Musical sense of “adapt for other instruments or voices” is from 1808. Related: Arranged;arranging. Arranged marriage attested from 1854.
So if you’re in a relationship right now, or thinking of getting into one, please ask yourself what category do you fall under. Hopefully it’s a combination all 3 and if not which one are we working with here? What do you chose? Now don’t get me wrong I’ve read for quite a few brothers and sisters and some geared to having more than one love interest which is why I no longer debate polygamy, polyamory, polyandry and whatever other ‘poly’ options are out there…..I can’t keep up these days. However, sustaining relationships is much more easier when you can walk in confidence about self, know what you provide for your partner and what they provide for you. This is where “Knowing your role” comes from and NO I don’t mean like women are to only stay home and cook and clean and men are ONLY to go to work just to come home and hand over his whole paycheck. Nah….let’s check out these case studies real quick and then let me break down the science. Ya’ll ready?
Here’s a quick testimonial
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Many of you have had bad break ups with one whom you thought was the love of your life, as a matter of fact some of you are thinking of divorce right damn now. The crazy part is before this reading ‘divorce’/separation was an option. Now, it’s not. Why? Because all it took was for them to create synergy by understanding the time they were in (which affects their current roles) and what was required of them to play their proper position in their relationship. We don’t think about how our actions are affecting the person that we are sharing our lives with. We also dont think about how growing apart can happen IF you are not aware of what and how to synergize. We honestly have a challenge trying to work on ourselves while still being sure we’re a good partner for the one we’re with. When doing reports I’m looking at the following areas and I’m dropping this jewel because you should look at this too when considering your life partner. Now, many people may say “ugh all we need is love and it doesn’t matter about material” and to that I say. “You’re probably the one who has no desire to provide or produce shit, because unless you’re on an island with no need for utilities or transportation or food or shelter you must provide in some shape fashion or form.” Even when there was no money there was still a duty to provide and nurture to whatever level of degree success means for that couple. I do NOT apologize for believing in not being broke just to be spiritually wealthy. Why do I have to wait to get to “Heaven” to get my Queendom? I can get it right here right now. Not too mention the fact that we have many groups (eh um) in society who lack power due to economical status. Nope not me and I’m not sorry about it. My children won’t go through this same bullshit…ok getting personal… Ok moving on…my bad I get passionate about that kind of thing.
when determining compatibility...
- 1. Once you find your purpose and foundation in life (Your Cosmic Blueprint), how is your mate contributing to it?
- 2. How does your mate enhance your income and overall family happiness?
- 3. Are you two able to sustain security as far as home and things that you own?
- 4. Can you two produce children together? This may not always be physical children but can you two implant an idea and give it birth?
- 5. How do you two compliment each other as partners? After all family is business
- 6. Are you spiritually aligned?
- 7. How does he/she contribute to your reputation and career moves?
I also look at the areas that take time to develop…for instance:
- 1. Where should you both put your efforts in order to create harmony in the stage of life you are in RIGHT NOW!!!
- 2. Is this relationship healing you or making you sick?
- 3. Secrets? Deep Rooted Issues? Sexual Compatibility? Yes this matters
- 4. Even though you’re in a relationship you should not feel like a prisoner or feel as if you can’t freely express yourself. How is this going to affect you?
Again it goes way deeper but these are things we should consider on the surface when we consider investing our time and energy into someone. Think about it, why did you break up with your last mate? NO things will not be perfect all of the time but when you have someone that is willing to work within the means of their capabilities, to me, this is a good catch. Some may have to work harder than others but the key here is to KNOW YOUR ROLE…not what society says but what you are MEANT to do.
The end result is better communication and understanding, success in your fortune, longevity, and more children having examples as to what healthy relationships look like.
This next case was….well you tell me which one you think this was. I did a reading for this sister and she then decided to get a reading for the brother she was dating. To make a long story short their attraction and ability to benefit financially and business wise from each other was great. However, what she wanted out of life was not on the same path as his, and also him having another child was damn near out of the question while it was a major deal breaker for her. Again the attractions and chemistry was there and even the ability for financial success but the family and relationship goals did not match. This is an experience many of us have. Many women will get caught up trying to force a man (or vice versa) into a role that he is not willing to play. A hard head makes a soft behind right? So I’m glad this was done because now they actually have a REALITY about each other. Moving forward is totally up to them because they can either work really hard to merge or accept what is and still remain amicable to each other. It’s the blindness of jumping into a relationship with someone that really fucks us up. This young lady is continuing this union with a clear KNOWING of what will be and what will not and the end result is no hurt feelings or secrets unless she just chooses to be naive…I don’t think she will though.
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Going back to the first couple who has been married for 12 years…the wife told me that both of them watched their individual readings. The compatibility video was only watched by the wife, for some reason the husband had no interest in watching the compatibility video. I felt a little salty but when she told me she saw improvements on his part in relation to what I read in his video ( which she never saw) I wasnt as bothered anymore. He just simply applied the lessons and viola!!! …they are moving forward in synergy.
Now me and my mate met is another post lol. It involved the new moon, a ritual, energy work, AND a compatibility reading. Before him instead of the regular first date questions of getting to know someone like “so what do u like to do? What do you look for in a mate” my questions were ” May I have your time time date and location of birth please?” Lol…thats right…I gotta see how those planets are set up to avoid the bs (aint nobody got time for that). Or use whatever method works for you just remember many relationships have failed just based on love alone.
So now we have a confirmation on our good points and where work is needed. There is no question about what WE bring to the table. YES AT TIME WE GET ON OUR DAAAAAAAMN nerves BUT we know the value of this relationship and are willing to invest in each other. Love, Karmic lessons, and arrangement is here. We make each other feel great, we show each other where we need improvement, and producing together isnt an issue (lawd I cant wait until the sex majic post). Its still new so we have time is this area.
Does this make sense? I hope so. I was not fortunate to have both parent in the house. I had no idea what a healthy relationship was and of course with the absence of Dad I encountered the typical shit many women go through when a father figure is not consistently in the picture. No my Dad was not a deadbeat to be clear, truthfully it was manily distance and a lack of emotional connection. Nonetheless this is one of the MANY reasons why we really need to self improve and know our truth in order to really be a benefit in your own life and the one you choose to share it with. Healing each other is a key component. The most recent report Ive done her husband was literally making her sick. This gets so deep because we think that sicknesses cant be caused by afflictions in your spirit/energy body. WRONG. Another reason why Im grateful for Tantra. Imagine if couples were able to heal each other? What if we all knew how to cleanse negative energy from each other? There would be less women walking around with brick walls over there heart and less men responsible for adding those bricks. There would be less men feeling afraid of being vulnerable and less women contributing to their issues in self worth and self esteem. Am I making sense? Just last night we had an energy session and for me to release pain and anger from my past makes me better in the present.
So next time you look for a relationship please consider these options. I know this whole “I am the universe” mode will have us reacting off of feelings only lol…smh…think back and look at the longevity of those relations…ijs fam ..we gotta do better. I am NOT a relationship counselor. I’m a realist.
Peace and Love Family.
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