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 WHAT YOUR MEN TELL ME

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Dear SiStars,

 

I’m coming to you from a place of love. As a Tantric Healer I get many men on my table complaining about the relationships they’re in. Sometimes, it’s the wife who sends me their husbands, in most cases, the men are coming to me without their wives/girlfriends knowing. No matter why they come to me, it’s good to know these things so that another woman does not have to be the one to heal your man without your approval/knowledge. Also for the men reading this, you may also want to pay attention because there are quite of few of my tantric brothers who are out here healing and fulfilling your wives/girlfriends because you’re slippin as well. Although I’m mainly talking to my sisters, for the brothers reading this post, you still may want to pay attention because the roles do reverse themselves.

 

I’m writing this letter because I believe that true sisterhood is being honest to each other about what your men tell me and complain about. Even if you’re single, I just want this to be a heads up so that we as women can always be on point. Some men will roam just because it’s who they are not matter how good you are to them. I’m not talking about them, these types of men are selfish and dishonest and need a lot of work on egotistical and selfish ways. The men who come to me…are the kind who do not wish to roam, or they have been roaming and they want to stop. They feel they are coming to their wits end.

 

I became a certified Tantrika because of the healing I needed for myself and also because of the many men I know are deprived of support, touch, love, honor, appreciation etc. A lot of us complain about men but….let’s not act like our shit doesn’t stink either ladies. I’ve also come to know that a lot of men are dogs because of the hurt and betrayal they suffered at a time they were “good.” I had a close friend of mine tell me he started dealing only with OPEN relationships because all of the women he has been with cheated on him. Now in his case, he was not exercising certain faculties that I teach in my Awakening the Blueprint: Tier 1 Tantra course. Nonetheless, this is why I am so passionate about my work because we need to do better in our relationships, but more importantly, as individuals first. It’s not easy, and we were made to think that it is. Let me clue you in for a minute.

 

The last session I had this brother owns his own business and has been with his woman for over 10 years. They have a beautiful family and yet he does not feel appreciated. His money is their money and her money is her money. He pays majority of everything and yet his family is wasteful. They do not appreciate the things he provides. They do not appreciate the fact he is patient and understanding and hasn’t snapped on everybody. They do not appreciate the fact that he still manages to get up every morning motivated to provide even though he does not feel the love he feel he should be given.

 

I was surprised that he told me the kind of touch and love I gave to him was something he has never felt in his 10 year relationship. What is wrong with this picture? Now ladies, don’t think I’m beating up on you, because I know our men slack in making us feel appreciated and doing the LITTLE things that we feel really matters. It’s like we don’t give a fuck about our particular love languages. It’s like the EGO kills our success and happiness in relationships. We go tit for tat and we purposely will NOT do something just to show “who’s boss” or “I can’t be controlled”. There are men who will do certain things for other women and not even their own girlfriends/wives. This is vice versa. It’s petty as fuck and I’ve experienced this many times in my relationships. We’re both frustrated with each other, but who’s going to be the adult in this situation?

 

A couple of weeks ago I did a topic on Tea Talk with the Sisters about the emasculation of our men. Many of us are dating men who has not healed their “birth story.” There were feelings of embarrassment, rejection, failure, judgement etc from mothers and other women who these men has shown an interest in. Women don’t realize something as small as our tone of voice can trigger a man back to a moment where he felt these unhealthy feelings. I’m not saying we should walk on eggshells, I’m saying that as a couple, or someone who wants to be in a relationship, we should be interested in knowing how to heal each other. No one comes into a relationship perfect, to think so would be very foolish. As life goes on we come across challenges that may cause damage or an unhealthy emotional, mental, reaction and we should know how to assist in healing each other.

 

Another thing that your men tell me is that we make them feel like sex is a chore. As a woman, I know exactly what he means. I have even felt at times sex is a chore especially if he hasn’t done anything to make me feel honored, adored, and appreciated. He just wants to stick it in without getting me aroused. Like I’m just supposed to roll over or give some good head just because we’re in a relationship. I get it, trust me I do. I think what happens is we are scared to tell each other these certain truths. Don’t you know that not telling the truth eventually causes resentment?

 

Be honest ladies, what are some of the many complaints you have heard men tell you in all of your relationships? I’d like to hear from the men too. We have to do better in understanding the dynamics of relationships. I know I don’t have it all figured out…but I have made steps to understand more…and I tell you I’m in a better place than I was before. There are times when we are ready to throw our hands up and just say “fuck it.” It’s kind of challenging sustaining relationships with that kind of attitude. Both men and women have been hurt and damaged and the hardest thing it seems is to set ego aside and do what is necessary no matter what.

 

Ladies, what are the LITTLE things that make your feel honored adored and appreciated?

 

Men, what are some things that make you feel appreciated, loved, and accepted?

 

I’m asking these things to open dialogue for us all to tell our truths. We have to start welcoming the art of listening to each other’s love languages. Please share in the comments below.

 

Also if you have no freaking clue what Tantra is feel free to take a look at my Youtube Series Tantra Talk Tuesdays to get answers to frequently asked questions about the difference of Grand Trine Tantra and it’s benefits.

 

Peace and Love family.

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